15 Top Funny Instagram Captions for Guys Hilarious Quotes and Jokes

I'm not saying I'm Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room? 🦇

I'm not lazy, I'm just really good at doing nothing. 😎

I'm not saying I'm a genius, but I did put the 'stud' in 'study.' 🤓

I'm not saying I'm a rebel, but I did stay up past my bedtime once. 😈

I'm not saying I'm a superhero, but I did save the world from boredom today. 🦸‍♂️

I'm not saying I'm a comedian, but I did make the mirror laugh this morning. 🤡

I'm not saying I'm a model, but I did strike a pose for the camera. 📸

I'm not saying I'm a chef, but I did make a mean bowl of cereal this morning. 🥣

I'm not saying I'm a fitness guru, but I did lift my phone up to take this selfie. 💪

I'm not saying I'm a philosopher, but I did ponder the meaning of life while waiting for my food to arrive. 🤔

I'm not a snack, I'm the whole meal. 🍽️

I'm not a player, I just crush a lot. 🎮

I'm not a superhero, but I can be your hero. 🦸‍♂️

I'm not a comedian, but I'm pretty funny. 🤡

I'm not a model, but I can strike a pose. 📸

I'm not a chef, but I can cook up some fun. 👨‍🍳

I'm not a fitness guru, but I can lift your spirits. 💪

I'm not a philosopher, but I can ponder life with you. 🤔

I'm not a musician, but I can make your heart sing. 🎵

I'm not a poet, but I can rhyme with the best of them. 🖋️

I'm not saying I'm a genius, but I did invent a new way to procrastinate. 🤯

I'm not saying I'm a superhero, but I did save the world from boredom today. 🦸‍♂️

I'm not saying I'm a comedian, but I did make the mirror laugh this morning. 🤡

I'm not saying I'm a model, but I did strike a pose for the camera. 📸

I'm not saying I'm a chef, but I did make a mean bowl of cereal this morning. 🥣

I'm not saying I'm a fitness guru, but I did lift my phone up to take this selfie. 💪

I'm not saying I'm a philosopher, but I did ponder the meaning of life while waiting for my food to arrive. 🤔

I'm not saying I'm a musician, but I did sing in the shower this morning. 🎤

I'm not saying I'm a poet, but I did rhyme 'orange' with 'door hinge.' 🖋️

I'm not saying I'm a comedian, but I did make my friends laugh with my terrible jokes. 🤣

I'm not saying I'm a puppy, but I am pretty adorable. 🐶

I'm not saying I'm a kitten, but I am pretty cute and cuddly. 🐱

I'm not saying I'm a teddy bear, but I am pretty huggable. 🧸

I'm not saying I'm a baby, but I am pretty irresistible. 👶

I'm not saying I'm a unicorn, but I am pretty magical. 🦄

I'm not saying I'm a butterfly, but I am pretty beautiful. 🦋

I'm not saying I'm a flower, but I am pretty blooming. 🌺

I'm not saying I'm a star, but I am pretty shining. ✨

I'm not saying I'm a prince, but I am pretty charming. 👑

I'm not saying I'm a superhero, but I am pretty super. 🦸‍♂️

I'm not saying I'm a comedian, but I did make my friends laugh with my terrible jokes. 🤣

I'm not saying I'm a philosopher, but I did ponder the meaning of life while waiting for my food to arrive. 🤔

I'm not saying I'm a musician, but I did sing in the shower this morning. 🎤

I'm not saying I'm a poet, but I did rhyme 'orange' with 'door hinge.' 🖋️

I'm not saying I'm a superhero, but I did save the world from boredom today. 🦸‍♂️

I'm not saying I'm a model, but I did strike a pose for the camera. 📸

I'm not saying I'm a chef, but I did make a mean bowl of cereal this morning. 🥣

I'm not saying I'm a fitness guru, but I did lift my phone up to take this selfie. 💪

I'm not saying I'm a genius, but I did invent a new way to procrastinate. 🤯

I'm not saying I'm a player, but I did crush a lot of levels in my video game. 🎮

I'm not saying I'm a singer, but I did hit all the high notes in the shower. 🎤 'Cause baby, you're a firework!' 🎆

I'm not saying I'm a rapper, but I did spit some fire bars in the mirror. 🔥 'I'm so fancy, you already know.' 💃

I'm not saying I'm a rock star, but I did shred some air guitar. 🎸 'We will, we will, rock you!' 🤘

I'm not saying I'm a pop star, but I did dance like nobody's watching. 💃 'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play.' 🎶

I'm not saying I'm a country singer, but I did croon a little tune. 🤠 'She thinks my tractor's sexy.' 🚜

I'm not saying I'm a Broadway star, but I did belt out a show tune. 🎭 'Defying gravity!' 🌈

I'm not saying I'm a boy band member, but I did harmonize with my friends. 🎤 'You are my fire, the one desire.' 🔥

I'm not saying I'm a DJ, but I did drop some sick beats. 🎧 'Watch me whip, watch me nae nae.' 💃

I'm not saying I'm a classical musician, but I did hum a little Mozart. 🎻 'Eine kleine Nachtmusik.' 🌙

I'm not saying I'm a reggae artist, but I did sway to the island vibes. 🌴 'Don't worry, be happy.' 😎

I'm not saying I'm a philosopher, but I did ponder the meaning of life while waiting for my food to arrive. 🤔 'The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.' - Oscar Wilde

I'm not saying I'm a comedian, but I did make my friends laugh with my terrible jokes. 🤣 'A day without laughter is a day wasted.' - Charlie Chaplin

I'm not saying I'm a superhero, but I did save the world from boredom today. 🦸‍♂️ 'With great power comes great responsibility.' - Uncle Ben

I'm not saying I'm a model, but I did strike a pose for the camera. 📸 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.' - Plato

I'm not saying I'm a chef, but I did make a mean bowl of cereal this morning. 🥣 'Cooking is like love, it should be entered into with abandon or not at all.' - Harriet Van Horne

I'm not saying I'm a fitness guru, but I did lift my phone up to take this selfie. 💪 'The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.' - Mark Twain

I'm not saying I'm a genius, but I did invent a new way to procrastinate. 🤯 'Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.' - Don Marquis

I'm not saying I'm a musician, but I did sing in the shower this morning. 🎤 'Music is the universal language of mankind.' - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I'm not saying I'm a poet, but I did rhyme 'orange' with 'door hinge.' 🖋️ 'Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings.' - William Wordsworth

I'm not saying I'm a player, but I did crush a lot of levels in my video game. 🎮 'Life is a game, play it.' - Mother Teresa